Doubting myself
Contributed by President Toh Harnniann
Am I doing the right thing? Or am I wasting my time?
Interesting fact: The only sport that has been played on the moon is golf. On the 6 of February 1971 Alan Shepard hit a golf ball.
I was sleepy. My watch showed that it was 11.15pm. It was time to drive to the cinema to watch midnight show with my fellow rotaractors. I was excited to see a number of 18 friends watching movie together. The show was ok but the novel is definitely better. After the show, I drove back home with dreamy eyes.
This experience cost me RM10.00.
I dressed smartly. I drove all the way from Klang to Kuala Lumpur with a group of friends at peak hour to attend the District Joint Conference. I slept and dined in 5 stars hotel for 3 days 2 nights. Luckily I met a few Hong Kong Rotaractors and had great time with them.
This experience cost me around RM200.00.
I joined the delegates to visit Taiwan. I enjoyed every moment once I stepped out from the airplane. I explored Taiwan and discovered interesting facts about her. I had funs with the Taiwanese who were so warm and friendly. Before I came back to Malaysia, we promised to visit each other. My horizon has widened.
This experience cost me around RM1,800.00.
I carried the heavy oxygen tank, put on my mask and fins, jumped into the crystal clear sea. I breathed under water, sucking the cold air flowed from the tank on my back. I swam like a fish. Except the voice of my own breathing, I could hear nothing else.
This experience cost me around RM2,000.00.
I will stop here.
Whenever I see an opportunity to take a sudden turn i.e. doing something different, my nerves will get excited. Inside me, there will be 2 figures arguing with each other: I call them Mr. Fear and Mr. Freedom.
Mr. Fear will always say, “Hey! You are not earning a lot! Work harder! Maybe even quit your job now and look for job that pays you more. Save the money. Play it safe. Do it the conventional way. Think twice before you decide on anything. Go home early everyday. Stay at home because going out means spending money.”
Mr. Freedom will reply, “yeah right, you only live once. You are in your 20s for one time only. Your health is your wealth and you cannot stay healthy forever. So don’t waste time doing nothing at home while you are young! Engage in something exciting! Expose yourself to more activities! Come out from the comfort zone and meet new faces everyday!”
I do have doubts most of the time. Mr. Fear will win a few arguments sometime, that’s when I say no to an offer and crawl back to my comfort zone.
I realize that life is fair. You give some you take some. Nothing is free. Everything comes with a price tag. The question of “whether it’s worthwhile to do it” will ultimately depend on my own value, my judgment.
This experience cost me RM10.00.
I dressed smartly. I drove all the way from Klang to Kuala Lumpur with a group of friends at peak hour to attend the District Joint Conference. I slept and dined in 5 stars hotel for 3 days 2 nights. Luckily I met a few Hong Kong Rotaractors and had great time with them.
This experience cost me around RM200.00.
I joined the delegates to visit Taiwan. I enjoyed every moment once I stepped out from the airplane. I explored Taiwan and discovered interesting facts about her. I had funs with the Taiwanese who were so warm and friendly. Before I came back to Malaysia, we promised to visit each other. My horizon has widened.
This experience cost me around RM1,800.00.
I carried the heavy oxygen tank, put on my mask and fins, jumped into the crystal clear sea. I breathed under water, sucking the cold air flowed from the tank on my back. I swam like a fish. Except the voice of my own breathing, I could hear nothing else.
This experience cost me around RM2,000.00.
I will stop here.
Whenever I see an opportunity to take a sudden turn i.e. doing something different, my nerves will get excited. Inside me, there will be 2 figures arguing with each other: I call them Mr. Fear and Mr. Freedom.
Mr. Fear will always say, “Hey! You are not earning a lot! Work harder! Maybe even quit your job now and look for job that pays you more. Save the money. Play it safe. Do it the conventional way. Think twice before you decide on anything. Go home early everyday. Stay at home because going out means spending money.”
Mr. Freedom will reply, “yeah right, you only live once. You are in your 20s for one time only. Your health is your wealth and you cannot stay healthy forever. So don’t waste time doing nothing at home while you are young! Engage in something exciting! Expose yourself to more activities! Come out from the comfort zone and meet new faces everyday!”
I do have doubts most of the time. Mr. Fear will win a few arguments sometime, that’s when I say no to an offer and crawl back to my comfort zone.
I realize that life is fair. You give some you take some. Nothing is free. Everything comes with a price tag. The question of “whether it’s worthwhile to do it” will ultimately depend on my own value, my judgment.
Am I doing the right thing? Or am I wasting my time?
Interesting fact: The only sport that has been played on the moon is golf. On the 6 of February 1971 Alan Shepard hit a golf ball.
posted by harnniann at 5:33 pm
6 Comments:
In my perception, the moment you enjoy what you are doing (morally and ethically right) , nothing should ever holds you back.
Wasting time? hmm, it might be if you have greater things to do than the one you are doing. So at the end, it depends on how you strives the balance.
Wasting money? Have you ever heard that money cant buy experience, friendship and love? So at the end, i think money cannot be used to judge this.
Further, I think those activities that you have listed out have served a great purpose in developing your personal development (especially your EI -reference should be made to Hui Hui's article on EI), equipped you with skills that helps in your career and catered you with a lifetime experience that you cant equates with money. Hmm, i believe that if you have a choice now (imagine you are back to the future), you will still choose the same right? (I will ;)) So why doubt it?
Cheers,
TRacy
sorry to the past not future
tracy
My moment of doubt (or i should say contradicting) would be living practically or care free.
Mr. Practical says "we should work hard and earn much money we can while we are young and enjoy it (eg: travel)only when we retired. Work hard,enjoy later!"
However,
Mr. Carefree says,"life is uncertain but death is certain.So enjoy while you still can and money can be earned!"
I would say,each individual have different "soul-searching".Some ENJOY being workaholic;earning money but have no time to spend,busy building his "empire".While some, like an explorer ENJOY discovering if there is anything to be discovered.
So at the end, one have to strike for balance...which is quite challenging...
Toh, when I first knew in rotaract, you listened to 'Mr Fear' - the voice urging u not to do something different in your present mundane life.
Probably being in position of leadership has changed you and turned you to Mr Freedom.
You had certainly made a right choices. Don't doubt anything.
My life motto is 'Have a life, live it to the fullest' & 'Nothing is final till you are dead'.
For me, before doing anything, i would ask myself one question:
" Will i regret ?" , if yes then lets do it without flashing back. If not then may as well dont do it.
Harley
Strike for the balance, dude!
You know, yes, we never know how long we going to live, but naturally, we all wanted to live. So, earn 10 bucks, save 5 bucks. That's not too much. (Of course, today I overheard someone's marriage is costing a fortune... I dont know if that could be an exception)
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