After countless time...

Contributed by Rtr Shunglee

President Toh has been harassing me countless times for an article… so here I am, *grunts* subconsciously writing about my recent getaway/snorkeling trip to Redang Island *grunts*. Bugger even uploaded his own photo as my phone’s wallpaper.

BTW don’t expect to save your phone bill and petrol after reading this article. I’m skipping the details as you can find them from your local tour agency. You know the one that has a cardboard thin stewardess with a pretentious smile outside the shop? I bet if she were alive she’d think to herself, *suckers* each time people walked inside.

Snorkeling was a bloody enjoyable experience for me. Using rented snorkeling gears was different though. The goggles had this rubber extension thing that covers your nose thoroughly so that sea water doesn’t accumulate around your nostrils and cause discomfort. It was the first time I felt so dehydrated from excessive production of mucous and NO! it doesn’t taste any saltier than the sea water la.

We also had to bite and stick this whole breathing tube contraception thing into our mouths.

That was when the ‘what if’ questions started to flood in.
what if the previous user brushes his teeth without colgate?
what if he has fetish for feet?
what if he found other use for the goggle? …

All these slipped my mind when I found a bunch of anemone and guess who’s whoring himself outside? A clown fish. I immediately took a dive thinking that a shot of the Nemo fish might gain me some fame with the ladies.

However the bugger went into hiding and came out as soon as I started to float back up again. I swear if I had caught it, I’ll put the fish into a tank filled with piranhas, then we’ll see who’s funny and cute.

…
Candak sotong Event

- Highly motivated to catch the boat’s first sotong (squid). Source of motivation = bunch of Taiwanese girls in bikinis ;)
- First to feel the pinch, alas, it was friend’s line.. potong stim
- Finally saw a sotong, swimming on the surface but damn hook has been casted deep into the sea, quickly reeled line @ 1000 knots. sotong swam away, prolly laughing his belly out along the way > ego shaken
- Only person in the boat who caught nothing > ego crushed
- Dinner.. sotong never tasted so good.. aaaah! sweet revenge!
- Found solace in ice cold beer at the chalet’s pub

Then it hit me. It DEFINITELY was my pure dumb luck that I didn’t catch any sotong… I mean, what skills do you need to have la, equipped only with a fishing line and a multi faceted hook without any bait. One would just have to pull and hope that a bunch of sotong, had previously squirted ink at each other, will cross path with the hook > aaaah! ego restored

…
Redang… the yards of coral housing countless species of fish, crystal clear water reaching out to the horizon, soothing wind throughout the day, bright sunshine embracing beautiful women in bikinis, white sandy beach soft and gentle at your feet, half eaten of a quarter of a watermelon buried half way into the sands.. WTF!

Beautiful as it is… there are people who just don’t fit to be on this island. Litterbugs who should get their a**es pricked countless times by sea urchins. Of course there is also this friendly stall owner who casted me in stone with the medusa look when I asked for a freaking serviette and deafened me with a NO MORE LA ! when I asked for extra sambal belacan. I swear I would have b**ch slapped that fella with a sotong if I had caught some the night before.

Redang.. Redang.. Redang,
Will I come back? Yes definitely. Why? Just found out that the corals in Sipadan Island have been ripped off by a barge. Nice one !
… you just have to go there to know why la.

Now.. what can I say about the getaway in PD last week … The company was great.. the beach.. blubb blubb !