Happy Merdeka!
Contributed by Rtr Shunglee
You know you are a Malaysian when:
+ You use your beam light and honk more than your indicators.
+ You go to the beach for a holiday but stay indoor most of the time instead (applies to certain gender only)
+ You fall into a storm drain in KL and nobody comes to your aid.
+ and when somebody comes to your aid, you hide your wallet and mobile phone.
+ You see gymnasts on the road more often than in your sports channel.
+ You get flashed from 100m away for changing lanes.
+ You crawl in traffic when it is cloudy and when it rains you wish you knew how to swim.
+ You experience traffic jam even when the accident is on the opposite side of the road.
+ You need to be reminded to do everything; from wearing your sealbelts to wiping your a** after a dump.
+ Your shit smells better than the drain.
+ You wake up, you find your neighbour house on fire and you go back to sleep until your fire alarm wakes you up again.
+ You are amused when someone is chasing a man with a PRADA bag thinking that its a high budget local production in the making.
+ You come out from your car to smoke and piss during peak hour.
+ You throw tissue paper on the ground and expect it to disintegrate when it rains.
+ You think the denda $500 is a reality tv joke.
+ Your neighbour knows how much you earn, what you eat, when you have s*x etc more than your mum
+ You need to be reminded to wash your hands after you pee.
+ You wash your hands and you see someone slapping his d*ck on the sink. Multi-tasking he says : /
+ Your house is on fire and the only people available to help are snatch thieves.
+ You are more afraid of snatch thieves than ghosts during the 7th month.
+ Your brake pads wears out faster than you can say "WTF your father's road ar?!"
+ You chop down trees and build a park filled with man made metallic trees.
+ You only care about the penyu (sea turtle) population when there isnt any more eggs to sell.
+ You jump into the beach only to find yourself surrounded by 'submarines'. Their arsenal? TREMENDOUS itch on your skin.
+ You only appreciate local talents when they become famous overseas.
+ You prefer to get kicked in your balls by Steven Gerard than getting laid with Jesicca Alba.
+ Your national icons are built by foreigners.
+ You drive to Singapore and suddenly find yourself sinking to the bottom of the Straits of Johor.
+ You lose your girlfriend to a level 60 undead mage during football season.
+ You Bitch about your country but still have patriotism wavering in your blood.
Happy Merdeka Day !
+ You use your beam light and honk more than your indicators.
+ You go to the beach for a holiday but stay indoor most of the time instead (applies to certain gender only)
+ You fall into a storm drain in KL and nobody comes to your aid.
+ and when somebody comes to your aid, you hide your wallet and mobile phone.
+ You see gymnasts on the road more often than in your sports channel.
+ You get flashed from 100m away for changing lanes.
+ You crawl in traffic when it is cloudy and when it rains you wish you knew how to swim.
+ You experience traffic jam even when the accident is on the opposite side of the road.
+ You need to be reminded to do everything; from wearing your sealbelts to wiping your a** after a dump.
+ Your shit smells better than the drain.
+ You wake up, you find your neighbour house on fire and you go back to sleep until your fire alarm wakes you up again.
+ You are amused when someone is chasing a man with a PRADA bag thinking that its a high budget local production in the making.
+ You come out from your car to smoke and piss during peak hour.
+ You throw tissue paper on the ground and expect it to disintegrate when it rains.
+ You think the denda $500 is a reality tv joke.
+ Your neighbour knows how much you earn, what you eat, when you have s*x etc more than your mum
+ You need to be reminded to wash your hands after you pee.
+ You wash your hands and you see someone slapping his d*ck on the sink. Multi-tasking he says : /
+ Your house is on fire and the only people available to help are snatch thieves.
+ You are more afraid of snatch thieves than ghosts during the 7th month.
+ Your brake pads wears out faster than you can say "WTF your father's road ar?!"
+ You chop down trees and build a park filled with man made metallic trees.
+ You only care about the penyu (sea turtle) population when there isnt any more eggs to sell.
+ You jump into the beach only to find yourself surrounded by 'submarines'. Their arsenal? TREMENDOUS itch on your skin.
+ You only appreciate local talents when they become famous overseas.
+ You prefer to get kicked in your balls by Steven Gerard than getting laid with Jesicca Alba.
+ Your national icons are built by foreigners.
+ You drive to Singapore and suddenly find yourself sinking to the bottom of the Straits of Johor.
+ You lose your girlfriend to a level 60 undead mage during football season.
+ You Bitch about your country but still have patriotism wavering in your blood.
Happy Merdeka Day !
posted by harnniann at 10:52 am
2 Comments:
Hey OC,
Good writing... cant agree more!
Great article. You have described Malaysian in a humorous way. Sorry for not knowing that you’re actually Shung Lee. LOL!
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